The wrong time to take up cardio

The wrong time to take up cardio

Good Morning

Yesterday, officers on foot patrol were carrying out enquiries inside Marks & Spencer when an unexpected sprinting event broke out.

A commotion was heard from elsewhere in the store and, peering over the clothing racks, officers spotted a male making a rapid and unscheduled departure from the premises.

At this point, neither staff nor shoppers had realised officers were nearby. Unfortunately, navigating a busy shop full of clothing displays is slightly different to competing in the Olympics, and by the time officers carefully negotiated the racks and made it outside, the suspect had briefly disappeared.

Thankfully, several helpful members of the public pointed officers in the right direction towards the bus station, allowing the chase to continue.

Officers regained sight of the suspect on Gaol Lane (Pun not intended) and were steadily closing the gap. In what can only be described as an ambitious tactical decision, the suspect then completed almost a full lap around the outside of the very store he had allegedly stolen from, apparently attempting to run rings around us. Sadly, for him, the strategy lacked one important ingredient: speed.

He was detained at the bottom of Gaol Lane, arrested, and the stolen property was recovered and returned to its rightful owner.

As a consolation prize for losing the foot chase, the suspect was treated to several hours in police custody, has since been charged, and will be appearing before the courts in the coming weeks.

We would like to thank the members of the public who assisted by pointing officers in the right direction. Your help was genuinely appreciated.

We would also like to apologise to any shoppers startled by officers suddenly appearing at pace through the clothing department. We can confirm that no mannequins, clothing racks, or meal deals were harmed during the incident.

A reminder that while running laps around a shop may be excellent cardio, it remains a poor escape plan when pursued by determined officers on foot. 

This wasn't just any shoplifter, this was a M&S shoplifter.